I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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