talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
