Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Who wears a wallet chain?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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