I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
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she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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