The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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