is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
