You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
