I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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