I want to have your abortion
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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