I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
