I can tuck mytits in my pants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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