the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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