Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
