i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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