i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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