handjob tips. give me some.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
