So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
