I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize