why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
