Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
