I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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