oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
