nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize