More tranny stories later!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
