i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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