Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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