Need sex. Gaining weight.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
