FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
