drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I fill condoms, not promises.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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