but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
