My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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