wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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