Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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