I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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