those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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