So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
