Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
