I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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