have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
