I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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