Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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