im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
