I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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