i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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