I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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