I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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