Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
