She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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