Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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