I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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