just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize