If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
