i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
