Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
