Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
