I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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