She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
