if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
