Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
