Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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