Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
