I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize