the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am midnight drunk by noon
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
