Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
