thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
