hell yes lets make some ravioli
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
